ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF MOM’S DEATH

“After her mother’s death, a daughter promises to go on living life to her best because she knows that’s what her mom would want.” – Unknown

It’s been a year since my mom passed away; a lot has happened in the weeks and months since: I turned 50, my husband and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary, our older son started high school, our younger son finished elementary school. We had our first Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s and Valentine’s Day without mom; her birthday and Mother’s Day were the hardest. My father kept busy on what would-have-been their 54th wedding anniversary. We all grieve in our own way and I am grateful my brothers and father can come together and continue to move forward one step at a time.

The other day I craved a taste of those last few days with mom; in searching through my files, I came across my social media post the first day of being a motherless daughter:

Last night we lost my mom to cancer. For those who were fortunate enough to know my mom know that she was the most amazing, kind, selfless, giving and loving person. My dad would call the two of us “twins”.

For those of you who didn’t know her, I’m sorry you missed out on knowing a wonderful, inspirational, and strong woman. My mom loved to dance; she and my father were so graceful on the dance floor! She loved to travel, spend time with family and had a great sense of humor. She made us laugh with her great phrases such as “It’s freezing cold” or “You look sleepy tired” as well as her British superstitions. She had a keen sixth sense and profound inner wisdom. She baked the best sherry cakes and rhubarb crisp but couldn’t bake a decent cookie to save her life. Her brown gravy for the holidays was amazing! She was fiercely proud of her children and grandchildren – but never one to brag about their achievements (she didn’t have to, we could tell by the look on her face). She adored my husband from the first day she met him and treated him like he was her own.

Despite the chronic pain over the past 2-1/2 years she held her head high, continued to be gracious, upbeat, and friendly. She never once complained or said, “Woe is me”. She fought and lived for her family. Life won’t be the same for our family but I will go on living life to my best because that is indeed what she would have expected of me – and I know she will be proud.

A year later, I know the choice I made to move forward and follow my dreams was the right one; Mom may not be here physically but here presence is everywhere: “You’ve got choices” is the mantra that flows through my mind, body and soul.