Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always. ~ Brad Meltzer

I often hear “You have Lyme? Really? You don’t look sick, you look fantastic!” and when I do, I think of Brad Meltzer’s quote.

Unless I specifically say, “I have Lyme”, people have no idea. They cannot see my brain fog, the depression or know that there are days I feel like I am losing my mind. The have no idea I suffer from night sweats followed by extreme chills, that I smell phantom smells, or have very low blood pressure.

On the outside I look normal, while on the inside, Lyme co-infections are busy mimicking a variety of neurological, cognitive, psychological, and musculoskeletal symptoms – just to name a few.

I am grateful for these kind words, but even more so, I am grateful I can keep moving despite the joint pain and discomfort.

Recently I took my 1,111 Pilates class at my local Pilates studio; I love the number 1111; I see them frequently, they are my lucky numbers, numbers that remind me I am in alignment.

That morning, I felt the tightness in my joints as I stretched out and warmed up on the Pilates reformer. Despite having taken hundreds of classes, Pilates never gets easy. My wrists hurt when I plank, and my knees and joints are tender. It feels good to keep moving as I make modifications and adjustments, taking my time through each stretch and pose.

Any doubt, anxiety or despair I may have always goes away when I get on the reformer; it is my time to focus on strengthening, lengthening, and toning.

On Wednesday evenings, I go to spin class, it’s Hip Hop night, my favorite. I love the music, the dark room filled with candles, as I ride along with 45 other people in class. I crank the resistance up as much as I can tolerate as I strive to place first in class.

Any anger, frustration, or worry goes away when I am on bike #5; it is my time to fly with the music of Drake, Post Malone, and 21 Savage.

I think about my Half Dome climb in 2017 and again in 2018; I’ve set an intention to hike it again in 2019.

Any fear, uncertainty, or feeling of hopelessness goes away when I make the final climb to the top of Half Dome. I feel empowered.

I want to, and need to, keep moving. Movement alleviates the pain.

I want to, and need to, keep moving. I know the battle I am fighting.

I want to, and need to keep moving because it is the best way for me to be kind to myself. Always.